Being Frank…

Accepting my failings

A husband’s worst nightmare ?


I married Husband because he is honest, sometimes gut wrenchingly so, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I prefer people to be honest with me. If I ask for someone’s opinion I genuinely want it, I don’t want them to tell me what they think I want to hear.

So you will sympathise with Husband when I tell you that we don’t have a mirror in this house. I mean we do have some mirrors, head and shoulders only, most of which are still waiting to be attached to walls, (see use of mirror below perched on toilet seat in order to take photograph)  but we don’t have a full length mirror. So what do I do if I want to know how something looks ? Yep, I ask Husband.

This is quiet cruel of me. His natural instinct is to tell the truth, but his sense of self preservation makes him wary of saying something that might mean he gets the silent treatment for a week. I try to be gentle on him, I never ask “does my bum look big in this ?” as it’s a given in this house. I am well endowed in the posterior department. I try for clothes that minimize the impact and ask questions like “does this flatter my shape”  or  “is this slimming” or “smaller ?”.

So please, empathise with the poor guy on the occasion his wife asked “how do I look ?” modelling something she had just run up on the sewing machine.

I recently purchase “Sew What ! Skirts” a book that advocates making your own patterns for some basic types of skirts based on your own vital statistics. The first pattern they suggest is an A line skirt with a drawstring waist which “to make it easier we have removed the darts”. Hmmmm, I have recently discovered that someone who is well endowed in the rear (and since childbirth) tummy department really, really needs to include darts in their clothes if they want them to fit.

So, not wanting to risk my specially purchased fabric and a bit nervous about my pattern making skills I made a “muslin” which is a dressmaking term apparently for a sample or test piece ( I also wanted to make sure that this skirt didn’t make me look like a sack tied in the middle with string, which most things do). So I sacrificed an old sheet (24 years old).

After following the instructions to the letter, plus a couple of hours messing around with scrap material as I learnt how the buttonhole feature of my sewing machine worked I had a finished article, which quite frankly looked like a bottomless drawstring bag ! Time to try it on and check it out in the mirror…ah…oh Husband !

Now, what is the poor guy to say about this ?september 2009 047

He stood there for a good minute or so, struggling with words to try and say what he thought but in words that made it sound not quite so bad.

It is truly hideous. It emphasises the bulges nicely. But I have learned an important lessons (other than include darts in everything). Because the material has to go along over the “shelf” of bottom and tummy I need to add an extra inch or so to get the length I need – I hate skirts that finish above the knee !

Husband is inclined to think that it might not be quite so bad if I used a heavy cloth as it might “drag” the hem down a bit. I also think I maybe don’t cut it quite so generously and make it a bit more “fitted”… alternatively a much more fitted pattern is required…oh and possibly a dark material, something in black perhaps…


Author: 5currantbuns

Cake Baker

4 thoughts on “A husband’s worst nightmare ?

  1. Oh dear. Good thing you experimented with the sheet.
    Gathered waists are just dreadful!
    My style advice is to go for an a-line skirt, with darts.
    Better yet, a skirt in a darker colour, with a loose-ish top in a brighter colour, or toning floral print. The idea is to draw the eye up.

  2. I have that book! I have yet to make anything but have the materials waiting to make the tablecloth skirt (although a table cloth it’s unfortunately not one of those nice vintage ones). I’ll remember about the darts!

    • I have been searching charity shops for a decent tablecloth to do that one, prices on ebay are ridiculous. Recommend getting a long long ruler if you are going to use the book, unless of course you like short skirts that is !

  3. I have a long ruler, which I can never find, only occasionally seen between the legs of my kids when they’re playing ‘horsie’

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