Being Frank…

Accepting my failings

Morning

2 Comments

Most mornings I wake up at 6am if I want to or not. This is as a result of over 19 years of a 6am alarm call. Once I’m awake I’m awake. If I’m lucky I get to doze, especially if it’s the weekend…but then there is you.

During the week you won’t get up. Every morning I have to wake you but at the weekend you have this amazing ability to wake up at an earlier hour than you do during the week. But at the weekend whilst I’m lying there pretending the sun isn’t shining and the birds aren’t chirping I hear the door handle turn…it turns ever so quietly and slowly by a hand that is pretending it isn’t there…

The door opens slowly over the carpet. I hear the careful breath as you check to your left to see if the “troll” is awake and ready to growl “go back to sleep, it’s too early” but no, the sleeping figure there snores deeply. You take a step, pause, check to see if a lazy eye has opened to check your progress…all is safe…

I hear you drop to the floor…the sound of your belly squirming across the floor to the window and then along to the far side of the bed…creeping along the edge where you pause…another in take of breath…you look down considering the slumbering shape on the pillow…

Sometimes I lift the duvet immediately…other times I leave you standing there looking, “Mummy ?” you say “Mummy?” I ignore you and let you stand there looking and waiting…and then you remember…you remember what I have told you about “how to wake a princess” and you land a great big smacker on my forehead, or my nose…or eyes…

Without opening my eyes I shuffle backwards into the bed next to Daddy/troll, lifting the duvet as I go…You crawl in next to me. I adopt what you described when you were younger as the “running position”, my back straight, legs bent into a sitting position…

Sometimes you lie there, your back against my front in a matching “running position”. I put my arms around you and bury my head in your head, against your neck, inhaling the smell of little boy…

Other times you crawl in, adopting a face to face position, lying there looking at me, your eyes twinkling at me, mischievous smile on your lips… and I love you for it. I love you unconditionally…despite lying there hoping that you don’t open your mouth because I know you had garlic for tea the night before and therefore have breath that can fell buffalo at 10,000 paces…

I forgive you for being awake when I don’t want to be awake…and I will miss it so much when you decide that you are too old for this and when your first words in the morning are not “mummy ?” but “aw Mum, go away I’m asleep”…

But for now I have the drowsy morning and you…and a whole day of possibilities.

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Author: 5currantbuns

Cake Baker

2 thoughts on “Morning

  1. Gorgeous. Just…….gorgeous

  2. A public love letter…very indulgent of me I know but if you can’t do it on your own blog where else can you do it…

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