Being Frank…

Accepting my failings


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A late valentines

I have always loved valentine’s day but in other ways I loathe it.

When I was younger I hated it because of the way it made those who didn’t get a valentine feel…absolutely wretched. I felt that way earlier in the week on someone else’s behalf…actually it was more guilt.

The handing out of invitations to Spider and Flapjack Princess’ joint birthday party fell on valentines day. Whilst Spider and FJP ran around trying to locate the correct person to give an envelope too, I was stood in the class line next to this slightly older child (they are in a mixed year class) with a mop of yellow hair and the most startling blue eyes.  And I saw those eyes turn from hopeful to disappointed in the space of 5 minutes…and I felt awful and it reminded me of how I felt year after year on valentine’s day.

I told myself that you can’t invite everyone. There is a health and safety limit of 20 children and for that matter why should I feel guilty, Spider’s only been to 1 party since this time last year…but I was still haunted by those eyes because I knew how he felt.

Later I asked Spider who he was, “him, oh he’s new. He only joined our class afer christmas”. Made me feel a little better, but mainly because it excused me from the fact I didn’t know his name.

So Valentines Day. How can I like it when I know how miserable it can make people ? Well I don’t like the commercialism of it, the plastic tackyness. What I like is all the different ways people find to express how they feel. Growing up I  waited all year for the valentines in the Guardian, read every single small print one and tried to imagine what happened next.

Always been a bit disappointed in the valentines I did get…very predictable. Apart from the time we celebrated with egg and chips and champagne. Oh and there was the man who bought me a frying pan…but then I ended up marrying him !

Husband, after the first time made it clear that he didn’t celebrate this day. Why should he express his love on just one day a year ? I can go with that. I still celebrated…had to, I got roped it to making a card for Spider to send to FJP and of course Spider had to have something from meand it’s different for me…it’s not knitted…but it’s not my idea (Handmade)

Had I had more time I would have liked to have tried some of this guerilla valentines

On tuesday Husband and Spider bought me red tulips